Bringing Out the Best

 

    Some of the things that have made me feel the worst, have been things that ended up bringing out the best in me. The things I did not want to do,  but did anyways, enabled me to do the things I always wanted to do. I know personally that I am thankful for the leadership in my life that made an effort to call me out when I was heading in the wrong direction. Some of the people that have made me the most angry, were the people I am most thankful for today. I had the worst within me, but when coming to the external, it displayed my best. Life is funny like that. I could go on and on about the irony in this, but I think the picture has been clearly portrayed at this point.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be.” It is a good thing other leaders along my way realized this. The uncomfortable things I did not want to do, did not align with my current self. They were not things I would naturally do. They were not things I could just wing, or were naturally good at. At the time, I did not realize I was preparing my future self for the things I would do for the rest of my life.

    Once I did those things, and got better, it become less uncomfortable. Eventually, all of the feelings of doubt and dread I had before had seemed to turn to confidence. I knew I could because I had become those things, and they had become a part of me. It became almost like a reflex.

    I remember a time when someone could make a negative comment about me or what I was doing, and it would bother me all day long. I would get angry. There would be someone trying to guide me down the right path, telling me, just to forget about it. Easier said than done in my opinion. I struggled with that for a while. It seemed much easier at the time to just get offended. It was not easier, it was just my natural reflex. After learning to let go a few times, it was like chains were broken from me. I did not feel imprisoned by those feelings of anger I felt before. One of the most awesome feelings I have ever felt in my life.

    I remember the first time I was going to speak in front of a crowd. I wanted to do it for years, but now that the time had come, I was scared to death. I wanted to run and hide. It was crazy to me how I could have desired to do something for so long, and those feelings turn to fear when it became reality. Despite my fear, I was urged to follow through, and it was the best advice I ever took. I was even horrible that night, but inside I felt like I accomplished one of the most important goals of my life: I conquered fear.

    No matter what point we are at in our lives, we all experience fear. We all have points of discomfort where we don't want to change, or don't want to do something. You conquer these emotions not by refusing to feel them, but by changing your natural reaction to them. Remember, emotions are natural parts of who we are. It is up to us to choose our natural reactions to the emotions we feel.

Maintaining Equilibrium:Overcoming a Life In Disarray

      As humans we search constantly for balance, or equilibrium. Equilibrium is best defined as "a state or feeling of mental balance; composure". We search but usually end up with disarray: "A state of disorganization or untidiness." Ever feel like you were meant for something more? Do you feel like a hamster on a wheel that goes as fast as it can, but still ends up in the same place at the end of the day? You know something needs to change but you just cannot put your finger on it. You feel like there are too many things going against you in order to make a change in another direction? You are overwhelmed by the circumstances going on in your life? Well guess what. You are probably part of a large percentage of people worldwide today, and probably more so in these times, then a few years ago. The world has drastically changed due to the economy, technology, world views, etc. Today many of us are getting a dose of reality that is overwhelming us in achieving our dreams.

    Many people come up to me on a consistent basis and ask me, "How in the world do you get everything you get accomplished in the period of time given to you?" We are all given the same 24 hours every day. It was not rocket science to me. After observing their behaviors, I knew why they could not get as much done. They were awful when it came to realizing when to say when. They had no clue when they had shifted focus towards the task at hand. They were more concerned with producing continuous activity versus producing results. To go further, they did not have a clue when other individuals were hindering their progress by just simply talking to them. Most people who are great at things are focused on doing that one thing until completed, and they emphasize enormous focus on doing it well. You cannot be a free spirit if you have a mission to accomplish.
    
    Starting with what you are able to accomplish is the first step. Actions cannot be based on an "All or Nothing" mentality. If you get caught up in what you cannot do, it does not encourage you to do what you are already capable of. I have often heard it called "prosper where you are planted." Work on the things that will get you to point B, but realize you are still at point A at this time. It is easy to look too far past a task, even if it is important to your progress. If you cannot produce 10% of the results, why are you worrying about how to produce 100%?

    Never try with the intent that you can just change your whole world in the course of a few hours, and that you will wake up with massive results tomorrow. Some things can take weeks or years before results are reaped from the efforts made. Some things can just not be accomplished in one sitting. Always remember that setting smaller goals will move you faster to the overall goal waiting to be accomplished. When you do see results, no matter how insignificant, this can lead to you keeping your focus better. When you don't see results, this can be a breaking point for many people. They get so frustrated and overwhelmed they just quit altogether. Regardless of some opinions, to be successful at anything does require two variables: hard work and time.
   
    I think it is vitally important to focus on the present as well as the future. You should have a vision of the end, but don't let it blind you to the present moment. Every small choice you make now will dictate the end result. Just remember that if you are not arriving as fast as you would like, evaluate your present actions towards the future. This is what will keep you going when things get tough. There is nothing wrong with realizing you need a new game plan, erasing the board, and starting over again. Having the patience to go through this process can be the difference between winning and losing.
   
    If you do not have a vision of what you need to do tomorrow it will be hard to reach the goal you set for months or years from now. This is where action comes in. Sometimes just putting that first foot forward when you dread a task is the most important step to getting it done effectively. It might show results tomorrow, it might not. Nonetheless, it is a step in the right direction. Direction is everything, even when we are not moving. It reminds me of the old story of Sodom and Gomorrah in the bible. Where they began to set their eyes is where they ended up. Their story did not end so fortunate, but the same point applies. Do yourself a favor starting RIGHT NOW!Find something you want, set your eyes toward it, and go for it!

Talk to Yourself...And Listen

     Some of the most informative conversations I have ever had were with myself. As crazy as this sounds, I talk to myself sometimes. I do this fairly regularly....almost daily. I don't take turns mimicking two different sides of a conversation. I usually don't even get in front of the mirror. What I mean by talking to myself is that I take time to listen to myself about my current thoughts and feelings. There are some things in life that can be put off, but feeling fulfilled and happy should not be those things. It is vital to evaluate how we feel currently, evaluating our current plan of action and direction as well. These things in the now can dictate the outcome of our lives in the future. We may know how we feel at the current moment, but do we really understand why and take the time to take it all in? Our lives get so crazy sometimes, that we forget about the way we feel. We try to forget sometimes because, at the current moment, that seems like the easiest solution.

     It is easy to get spun up in a web of confusion. The world is moving rapidly, and is not offering any indication that it will slow down. That is where we have to learn how to slow down despite the things going on around us. We go day to day wishing something would change tomorrow, but that requires us paying attention to today first. We all have great intentions about where we want to go, but are our present actions aligning with the intentions? Does the way we view ourselves now align with the person we one day hope to become? Everyone has great intentions, but sometimes, they remain only intentions. There is usually a true lack of focus and planning on the steps necessary to make that intent a reality.

     One of my biggest fears in my younger  years, was the fear of waking up at an old age feeling empty inside.  I feared realizing that I had been going a hundred miles an hour in no particular direction, not accomplishing anything along the way. Good news is that I am not that old yet, and no longer fear this. I no longer fear this because I made a deal to talk to myself. I ask myself how I feel about the present, and my expectations of my future. If I physically or mentally don't feel on top of my game, I instantly evaluate why, and make an effort to change some things. This is one of the secrets to owning your life, and not letting your life own you.

     If I feel great, I take time to understand that too. I like taking the time to be present in my current state and know why I feel this way at this moment of happiness. I am focusing on me and the moment, and nothing else.  I get as detailed to the colors and the smells around me. I want to remember the things that made the moment so great. I will need this, because times are not always great. When things get bad, Its gives me something to revisit. It usually almost instantly changes two key things that dictate the outcome of anything: My attitude and perception on life.

    Life can be great, if you really desire for it to be. When we have great moments, taking the time to really take them in can prove beneficial. When we have bad moments, we should take the time to revisit the great moments. This will usually calm us down and give us clarity in our thinking. We could sit there stewing in the bad moment, but the fact of the matter is, the bad moment happened regardless.  Reflecting on some earlier great moments could give us the edge to being in the presence of even greater moments later. Even on a bad day, if we have the road map pre-planned back to happiness, we will get back there a lot sooner.

    Everyone deserves to bask in the presence of happiness.   When you fail to attempt to be happy, you rob yourself and the people that are in your presence on a daily basis. You owe it to yourself and them, to be the best you, that you can possibly be.

I Would Do Anything...But That

.

     You have to set limitations and boundaries to what you are willing to do for your business. It is part of establishing yourself as a name and an entity. In the beginning, you might have done things you would never do today. It can be a progressive process but necessary. It will keep the smile on your face and help you move forward. If there is an established understanding early in the game about what you are and are not going to do, it will simplify things down the road. Customer and business relationships are still a relationship. In order for a relationship to flourish, both sides need to be satisfied for the most part.

    An issue I had a while back reminded me to write this. I used to run a pc repair business that offered for us to come to your home. When I arrived there, I smelled cigarette smoke, which I am highly allergic to now for some reason. I told the gentlemen that I could not fulfill his request at his home. His first response was, "Why?" I explained to him the situation. As far as doing the repair at the house, the answer was no with no compromise. I then told him this was beyond my control and surely out of his control. I waived the gentlemen the fee for coming to the house and gave him a 25% discount on the repair. Did I lose money? At the time, yes. In the end, no. The gentlemen was so pleased with my work that he became a regular customer. He would send referrals to me all the time and would go as far to let people know about the cigarettes. I never asked him to do that part by the way. Not only did he help my business grow but he was painting a picture of how I expected to do business. The ironic thing is that he was the originator of all of this.

    What started out as a trying situation ended up working out, despite my refusal to do the work at the house. The circumstance was beyond either person's control, and the answer had to be no in the given situation. I don't have many circumstances where I won't deliver, but this was one of them. Don't be afraid to speak up when you feel like things are not going your way. As long as it is not an unheard of request, your customers will respect it, even if they don't like it. If you cannot accommodate them, unless it is an unheard of reason, just make it right. If you have made the reason clear beforehand, stick to your guns. You will establishing a clear understanding and boundaries to your customers.

    Life is kind of the same way. We have to be familiar with what we are not willing to do in order to know how to get what we want. It keeps us honest and most important it helps us stay away from those types of things. A clear vision is not just knowing what you need to do, but knowing what you will not do under any circumstance, with no exceptions. Even though some will not like what you stand for, you will love yourself for it down the road. Plus those that did not like it, will probably at least learn to respect it. The difference in life is you cannot worry about accommodating everyone else's needs. Your belief system and standards have to be based on something other than what other people think is right for you, or what you should do for them. Respect is not earned by conforming to everyone else's opinions, it is earned by being true to yourself, and staying that way no matter what happens. If you are willing to lose a little at first to stay true, you will gain much in the end.

 

Learn and Adapt, or Be Miserable?

 

    We all have a past. We all have a future. Most importantly, we all have a choice. A choice to learn and adapt, or to be miserable. We have a choice to have an opinion. Unfortunately, if we have opinions, without actions, opinions will be the only thing we are left with. We have a choice to embrace the world around us, learn new things, benefit ourselves, and benefit others.

    Learning and adapting sometimes is not comfortable. Learning and adapting is what will separate the lifestyles that people live in the near immediate future. We are living in a paradigm shift right now. Competition has gotten more fierce and the chances of the underdog winning have become much greater. The only way to win is to choose to learn and adapt. If we don't choose to do that, we will be miserable. There is no opting out or running away. It is a decision that has to be made head on with the upmost determination.

    Life will be miserable for those of us who refuse to learn and adapt. Learning and adapting is not compromise. Misery is a compromise. Standing in disgust at the world around us does not do good for anyone. It inhibits progress on a personal and widespread level.  Not liking the way things are is okay. Not doing anything about it, however, is not okay. Like it or not, the future is coming. It is not going to wait on any of us to catch up. We are going to have to grab a hold of the wave like never before.  We must learn to enjoy the ride along the way. We must learn to love those that are riding the wave with us  even if we choose to disagree on certain things. That is learning and adapting. That is what it takes to move things in different directions.

     Some think we are living in very different times. Some think we are living in uncertain and fearful times. Some think that we are living in exciting times. Some  think we are living in the end times. I like to think we are living in exciting times. I think some of the most exciting times in our life is what occurs after breaking through fear and uncertainty. To not get excited about life really does not prove to be profitable in my eyes.  What does it matter what I think? Sadly, this is the question many of us have asked ourselves before. Your thoughts matter. My thoughts matter. Our actions matter. Thoughts can bring actions that can change the world. Everyone deserves success. Every one owes it to themselves to learn and adapt. There is not a person on this earth who deserves to be miserable. But the game has been laid out and choices have to be made. Only time will tell. It will be painfully obvious what choices the people around us make.

8 Important Questions You Should Ask Yourself

    It is my belief that everyone desires to be successful at something within the course of their life. It is also my belief that success does not predicate on your bank account balance. There are several areas of your life you can achieve success in. What is success you ask?  Success for some people could be making more money, having better health, and for others it could just be contentment or stability in their lives.
 
    My question is what are the obstacles for the people who don't become successful? I think some people lack a template in order to define how to get what they want out of life. They cannot get to where they want to be in life because they are unsure of where they are currently at. Here are some questions you should ask yourself every day that could indicate necessary changes that need to be made:

1.)What is the last thing I do before I go to bed at night?
2.)What is the first thing I do when I get out of bed?
3.)Why do I do that thing first?
4.)What is my plan for today?
5.)How do I feel about what I am going to do today? Do I feel energized? Do I feel        dreadful?
6.)After I do those things, how does it make me feel?
7.)Am I satisfied with my life today?
8.)Who or what dictates the way I feel about my life?
   

    These questions alone can indicate a lot to you about the path you are taking in your life. Sometimes we learn the most about life when we stop and look at ourselves in the mirror. Next time you catch yourself looking in the mirror, ask yourself these questions. It could dramatically change the image on the other side of the mirror. Success is something we all deserve. Success has to come from within before it can show its external presence.

The Urgency To Seek

    It seems if you want to learn anything today it is a click away. It could be a simple book or a social media contact that aids you in the learning process. We have a great abundance information available to us. It is literally at our fingertips more so now than any time in history. Sometimes we get information that is not so great. We all wish we could find the magical answer, no doubt. The question is why can't we? If we have all of this information out there, how come there are not more average people doing extraordinary things. Is it because we live in such a competitive world these days? Well, it cannot be that. We have always lived in a competitive world and certain people have stepped up above the rest.  

    Back to the question, with this wealth of information and how-tos why is  everyone not profiting greatly from it? The reason is that many seek  for urgency when they should have the urgency to seek. We live in a world that will not stop for us.  To say we live in a world with accelerated development would be an understatement. It is hard in a fast moving world to not expect the answer quickly. If we don't find the answer quickly, we move onto something else looking for the answer to it. Our focus has a better chance to be compromised more now than ever before. Information is pulling at us every which way, but are we really leveraging it? But are we as individuals putting forth the effort that it takes to keep up with the pace of the world? Do we have an urgency to seek the answer as much as we have the want to seek for urgency? Plain and simple, if you want answers, you have to learn how to seek. If you don't want to find the answer, find someone who can help you with the answer. The answers is out there waiting to be discovered.  The answer started with someone who spent late sleepless nights  seeking for the answer. They were the person who could not rest well until the question was answered. If they were not finding the answer, they had someone else finding it, who was living the sleepless nights.

    We live in an amazing world and time right now. We have more of an advantage as ordinary people to do the most extraordinary things. It makes great sense to take advantage of the opportunities we have in front of us. If what you are doing is not working in your life, it is time to have an urgency to seek. Chances are, if what you are doing in life is not working out for you, you have been seeking urgency. Don't worry, it is human nature to want to do things the quickest way on the least amount of effort. It is strange that is our reflex, because it seldom works. People that end up great usually do so by tremendous amounts of effort. They seek what they need to do what they want to do. They seek the work ethic to carry out what it takes to perfect their craft. They seek what is required of them to be the best. If that is the answer, it is time to get started. Sounds like it might take a while !     :)    Good luck on your quest!